Exercise & Diet excuses!

What is the best(worst) diet or exercise excuse you’ve ever heard?

v  Shopping is my cardio

v  Exercise is done against one's wishes and maintained only because the alternative is worse.
-George A. Sheehan –

v  I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.
-Ellen DeGeneres

v  Exercise... the poor person's plastic surgery

v  I was going to wake up early and go jogging, but my toes voted against me 10 to 1.
-Randy Glasbergen

v  Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars, and starches into aches, pains, and cramps

v  I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell.
-Alec Yuill Thornton

v  I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street.
-Neil Armstrong

v  The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck!
-Unknown

v  I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
-Marsha Doble -

v  But the doughnut was calling my name.

v  But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.

v  I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-called dish, so I had an ice cream.

v  If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

v  If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.

v  If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

v  Cookie pieces contain no fat -- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

v  Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

v  Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the calories fall out.

v  Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

v  Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out,
but I can usually sedate her/him with four or five cupcakes.